


I can't go back to the start now, time doesn't slow down

by NinjaGirl1117



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang (Avatar)-centric, Air Nomad Genocide (Avatar), Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning, POV Aang (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaGirl1117/pseuds/NinjaGirl1117
Summary: At the Southern Air Temple, something inside of Aang just breaks. Seeing Monk Gyatso, his mentor, laying dead on the floor was not the day he expected.After going into the Avatar state Aang is confused and hurting. His family is gone, so where does that leave him?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	I can't go back to the start now, time doesn't slow down

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from Alec Benjamin's song Older

They're gone.

I still can't process that. The people basically raised me, taught me right from wrong, the fire nation didn't know I had left and they instead massacred everyone.

Gone, just like that.

Friends who never got a goodbye and barely an explanation to top it off.

What have I done? It seemed so right to run away at that moment. I was just a tool for them. Not a human being. All my emotions clouded my judgment making it seem right. Like it was right to run away from my family. So I decided to run, like a coward.

Taking Appa with me, I ran, thinking that would solve all my problems.

Boy, was I wrong, destiny catches up with you. No matter how far you run it always seems to be waiting for you.

At the temple, I lost control. The power I possessed scared me. Perhaps I was nothing, but a tool. Just one purpose in life and nothing more.

The scariest thing was after the crazy stuff happened, when Katara and Sokka were calming me down I could see the fear in their eyes. It made me sick to my stomach. The look of horror plastered on their faces still sends a cold shiver down my back.

I'm not a monster.

I just want to live my life, but I guess saving the world is apart of it now. Sometimes I wonder if I didn't leave. Would they have had a chance against the fire nation?

Maybe I should've died along with them. I don't know why out of all the Air benders I should be able to live. What makes me so special. I'm just a kid, who happened to be the right place at the right time.

Death. It seems like a foreign concept to me. I learned that no life is insignificant. Not even the life of a small creature. Life is so many things. It's happiness, laughter, friendship, but it's also grief, rage, and forgiveness. Many aspects are pushed aside and sometimes forgotten, but are a crucial element in life. We really don't get to pick and choose what happens to us. I'm living proof of it.

If I could I would've gone back and fought side by side with my friends. Except, I can't. The universe doesn't work that way. As much as I wish and pray for a second chance, I know I'm not going to get one. They aren't coming back. I still can't face that at face value. I need time to process. I need time to grieve. Although I'm not given that luxury. However, I was given one hundred years to hide. Perhaps in a way, this is my punishment for the brash actions I took that fateful night. The actions that might have led to the slaughter of my people. After all, the fire nation was looking for me.

My family was killed, but as I'm learning, you don't have just one family. No, you have multiple. Right now, my family is Katara and Sokka. They stood by my side. They had many opportunities to leave me to my impossible dilemma, but they didn't. Their loyalty inspires me as well as the Air benders who fell in battle against the fire nation. They died so I could live. Now, I know you could say it sounds cheesy, but I'm just a twelve-year-old boy. Well, correction one hundred and a twelve-year-old boy with a mentality of a twelve-year-old boy. Not confusing at all. I normally don't mention it to anyone, because since when does that come up in conversation? Oh, by the way, I'm actually one hundred and twelve years old.

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic, my new family is perfect, we have our flaws. Including the fact that we are just a bunch of teenagers traveling around, but that's beside the point. Though what we do have is determination. We aren't going to sit idly by and led Fire Lord Ozai to take over. We are going to fight, for those who can't. For those who gave their lives in the hopes that their children wouldn't have to live under the oppression of the fire nation. Braver men than I made sure that we could have a fighting chance. I don't know why of all the Air benders I was made the avatar. There's nothing special about me. I don't have these incredible powers. I'm three elements short for bending and I don't have a lot of time. It took many avatars years to learn each element and master them. And I know for a fact I don't have that long. I'm going to bring balance to the world. There's a chance I will fail. I know the risks, and I'm willing to take them. I've got to at least try.

My first family is gone, but I've got to try for them.

If I don't, I've just condemned the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are amazing!


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